The Play's the Thing

The girls' foray into acting this summer (check out the film's website!) has somehow tumbled now into a new passion for both of them. Both of the girls signed up for the Junior Theatre program after school this fall, and I have been the parent volunteer for Mikaela's group for the last eight weeks...making photocopies, helping with costumes, and basically just getting a chance to spy on the kids in their natural (school) habitat. The thing that has been most fun about this though has been watching how willing the younger kids are to become their characters -- to just succumb to the thrill of it. The older kids are self-conscious, shy, awkward. But the younger kids just go for it. It seems that the littler kids have few, if any, insecurities. They simply pretend; it's truly putting on a play. Mikaela is the Lion in a very abbreviated version of "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe." She's got two lines, but man, does she give it all she's got. But I can see just that sliver of hesitation, the knowledge that she is being watched. Assessed. That awareness of self that will likely become the ruling force in her life in just a few more years. And it kills me.

I did a lot of acting and dancing when I was a kid, and I distinctly remember the point at which I became cripplingly self-conscious. I was cast as a snake in my dance recital. I was fifteen, and I wore a full-body snakeskin unitard. I had to take off my glasses in order to dance, and I was blind as a bat on the stage. A boy I liked was in the audience, and I remember being mortified that he was out there...somewhere (because I couldn't see him) watching me bend and slither all over the stage. After ten years of dancing, I quit that year. That was my very last recital.

I wonder if the best performers, the best actors and dancers and singers are the ones who never lose that ability to let go...to be on stage with absolute abandonment of self.

Playing Dress-Up

First, I apologize for the gigantic lag between posts. To be honest, since summer came to an end, so too did my blogging (and playing) enthusiasm. I anticipated that the beginning of real life would bring this project to a screeching halt, and it did. Screeeeeching. I could go on and on making excuse: the 2 hours of homework my third grader has every night, the gymnastics lessons, the four hours of ballet and Nutcracker rehearsals every week, my own personal chaos (a looming deadline, the laundry, the lunch boxes, the teaching, the editing, blah, blah, blah), but the truth is I just lost steam. It is hard work playing every day, especially when our lives are jam-packed.

However, I am going to keep trying.

On that note...we've been playing dress-up here lately. Halloween is one our family's favorite holidays. I spent the last two months making a pirate costume for Kicky which made it's debut today. As did Esmee's "Vampire Cheerleader" ensemble. Tomorrow we have a carnival, and on Sunday night we're having a ghoulish party at our house. And even as I struggle with my failure...and yes, it feels like a big fat failure, I do feel like I'm being the best mom I can be right now. And all those things have to be worth something, right? Helping with homework, allowing them to pursue their respective athletic and artistic passions, making sure the ballet tights and leotards are clean, packing healthy lunches, sewing costumes, and even showing them that my own work really matters will all ultimately make them into good people who feel valued and important and loved, right? We're also still creating traditions and memories that matter, I hope.



I know, I know. Back to play. And I will keep trying.

Out of the Tulgey Wood

After nearly the entire summer spent away from home, it is both wonderful and awful being back. Wonderful, because I love it here. The girls are back in school. I am no longer driving a half hour just to check e-mail, and I no longer have to rely on the wind and sun to dry my newly laundered clothes. It's awful though, because the end of the summer means leaving our other home in Vermont.



I will happily admit that the hour-a-day play activity did not always include me. One of the beautiful things about being in Vermont is that the kids have something they simply don't have here: freedom. Independence. In Vermont they were able to disappear outside, into the woods, up into the tree house for hours on end without a grown-up in sight. I wouldn't take that away from them for anything. For one month a year they get to experience what I did as a kid: complete freedom from the grown-up world (the one that is there to monitor and protect -- the one that spoils the fun).

However, I did make a conscious effort to play some games I haven't played in a long, long time though. And here are the pictures to prove it.


(This photo was actually take at our old neighbors' house in MD on our way to VT.)


Blocks. I helped build this. I particularly love the Etch-a-Sketch screen and the man trapped in the glass (Jenga) box.


The view from the Ferris wheel...a ride I haven't gone on in twenty years or more.



Chutes and Ladders and a zillion games of Chinese checkers. That's the summer in a nutshell.


Until next year.

Princess(es) and the Pea

We have a tradition in our family that began back when Kicky was just a year and a half old. I think I originally got the idea from the now defunct Home Companion magazine. The idea was to throw a Princess and the Pea party, where little girls come dressed up like princesses and eat strawberry shortcake and give their mothers a zillion photo opportunities. The first year I made little tiny mattresses and my mother supplied homemade crowns. By the second year, we were reading the story aloud and then having a hunt for a glittery pea (the girl who found the pea was the "real princess" and got to wear the crown). We made princess art (wands, fireflies, murals) and ate shortcake (and the mommies drank daiquiris). I decided to make it an annual event after Esmee was born, and we now had two princesses in the family.

My idea was always that it was a good excuse for a party and a really nice way to foster a sense of tradition and continuity with their girlfriends. What I didn't know when I started the tradition was that we would criss-cross the country a couple of times. My heart broke the first year in DC when the girls had to start all over again with new friends at their annual bash. But by the time we left, their girlfriends there began to expect and anticipate the yearly party (which, by the time we left, had grown enormous). And my heart broke again when we had to leave them behind.

This year we decided to scale the party back for a variety of reasons. And I have always known that the Pea Party would have to evolve and change as the girls grew out of their respective "princess phases." But the heart of the party is the same: bringing best girlfriends together to celebrate their girliness and their friendship.

And this year it was such a joy to be back in San Diego where one of my very best girlfriends is also raising two daughters. Her eldest was at the first two Pea parties all those years ago.

I'm not sure what the future holds for the Pea party, but I'm game as long as the girls are.

Face Painting

Yesterday the girls got out the face paints. One thing I've realized during this whole experience is how inclined I am to reject a project because it's messy. In Maryland we had a table that was perfect for projects...covered in marker and glitter glue -- an entire history of the girls various arts and crafts embedded in the wood. But in our California house we only have our dining room table. And carpet. Glitter and paint make me nervous. But...in the spirit of play...I decided to throw caution to the wind. And we had fun. Kick made a sign with her various "designs" -- a skull and cross bones, a rainbow, etc... We took turns painting each others' faces and hands and arms. I was sad to see them disappear in the bath water last night.

Yoyo Mama

I bought the girls yoyos yesterday. I've never been very good at yoyoing, and it doesn't seem to be a skill that gets better with age.



So far nobody's lost an eye, but it's just a matter of time.



Tomorrow we're having a sleepover with the Anderson girls, and then the 8th Annual Princess and the Pea Party -- scaled down due to prevailing pre-vacation chaos. It should still be a lot of fun though.

Hiring: One Fairy House Contractor

Today Kick and I had a rare day together alone...and so we decided to start really building the fairy house. It is a work-in-progress, but I would live there. Seriously.



Check out the rooftop garden.



And yes, those are glow in the dark stars on the ceiling.