Thursday, March 24, 2011
Spring, Sprang, Sprung!
I don't know what it is about spring, but every year around this time, I get this burst of creative energy. I am busting at the seams with ideas. Kicky and I have decided to finally write the book we've been talking about for over a year now. We've decided to use Esmee's Friday afternoon chess hour to work on it. I am also prepping to work on the first grade art project for the fund raising auction. (Each child is going to make a sun print fabric square, and then I'll assemble them into a quilt.) I spent an hour at the fabric store this morning. So many possibilities! This morning I put together a three ring binder to keep kids' project ideas and started going through a whole bunch of old magazines to start filling it. (Our own Play Book.) As I was doing this, I came up with the BEST summer plan. I think I'm going to find a used video projector and turn our backyard into a theatre. I don't think it has to be too expensive, and how awesome would that be? I have visions of the girls and their friends camped out in the backyard under the stars watching movies. Our own little drive-in theatre. Anyway..to many ideas to put down.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Let Children Play
Check out the article/interview about our play project at this fabulous play-promoting website!
Let Children Play: Into Tulgey Wood : A Year Long Venture into a Life of Play
Let Children Play: Into Tulgey Wood : A Year Long Venture into a Life of Play
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
In Defense of Play
Yesterday, the San Diego Union Tribune published an article about this project. With only a week remaining of our "Year of Living Playfully," it was a lovely tribute to everything I've been trying to do this year as well as my beliefs about parenting and (perhaps more importantly) about the preservation of the magic of childhood.
What I didn't expect were the nearly 75 comments following. And while many were articulate and supportive, others were judgmental, even hostile, making a whole lot of assumptions about not only me but my daughters as well. I refrained from commenting on the UT site, but I could not resist responding here...though I suspect most of those naysayers won't bother to actually look at the blog about which the article was written.
First of all, I have not read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. I am aware of the controversy, but this project was in no way a response to that book. I began this project because I wanted to be a better mom. It had nothing to do with Amy Chua. It, honestly, had nothing to do with anyone except for my daughters. I kept the blog because the mothers that I know and care about feel the same frustrations, and I thought this might provide some inspiration.
Next, a lot of those responding brought up economics. Some figured I must be wealthy with too much time on my hands. Another worried I might have all this time because I was relying on public assistance. Neither is true. And the beauty of this project is that it isn't about money. It's about time. Granted, because I work at home, I have what many perceive as more time to spend with my girls. And that is absolutely true. I do have more time to offer. But I am only talking about an hour a day. One hour out of twenty-four. A gift from me to my children -- just a sliver of my time. Isn't this something that all parents, rich or poor, at home or at work, should be able to find?
Also, what the article did not mention (because I did not tell the journalist) is that my daughters both excel in academics. The older has tested in the GATE program (the younger will be tested next year). They have both been recognized at their elementary school for leadership and academic excellence. They each have one extracurricular activity they have pursued since they were in pre-school (ballet and gymnastics respectively). We are not "soft" parents...not parents bulldozed by our whimsical children. There are rules in our house which promote respect, honesty, kindness, compassion, and hard work. There are immediate consequences when rules are broken. The girls have both rights and responsibilities in our home. Simply because I decided to interact more with my children, to allow their imaginations and creativity to flourish, does not mean that I stopped disciplining them. (I think these people are imagining some sort of feral kids running wild in our house!) It also doesn't mean we don't care about their academic education. I have two Masters degrees...of course I value education!
From an early entry in the blog:
Every creative impulse I have today I can directly attribute to my parents' encouragement of imaginative play when I was growing up. I remember writing my first "novel" when I was nine years old. My father was the one who dragged the clunky old electric typewriter out of the closet for me, plugged it in, and gave me paper. I wonder if I would have become a writer if he hadn't let me sit there banging out words on that typewriter instead of studying flashcards.
I make my children sit down every day after school and do their homework. I am the overseer of the homework packet, the iron fist of cut-n-paste. But if my husband and I expect to raise children who make and appreciate art, isn't it our responsibility to emphasize the value of their imaginations as well as the value of phonics and multiplication tables?
Lastly, I think the argument played out here is primarily about how we define "success." Here is what I know: Patrick and I are happy people. We have good friends, a close family, and jobs that we are proud of and love to go to every day. This is primarily due to the fact that our own parents supported our passions as kids and taught us the value of following our dreams. As a university instructor, I have taught the proverbial Tiger Moms' kids. They are disciplined, smart, talented, and driven. They will likely find lucrative careers. But they are also the ones whose dreams are not their own.
I am pleased that the article sparked a discussion, and hopefully even those whose gut-response was so negative stopped for a moment to think about the last time they sat down and played with their children.
What I didn't expect were the nearly 75 comments following. And while many were articulate and supportive, others were judgmental, even hostile, making a whole lot of assumptions about not only me but my daughters as well. I refrained from commenting on the UT site, but I could not resist responding here...though I suspect most of those naysayers won't bother to actually look at the blog about which the article was written.
First of all, I have not read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. I am aware of the controversy, but this project was in no way a response to that book. I began this project because I wanted to be a better mom. It had nothing to do with Amy Chua. It, honestly, had nothing to do with anyone except for my daughters. I kept the blog because the mothers that I know and care about feel the same frustrations, and I thought this might provide some inspiration.
Next, a lot of those responding brought up economics. Some figured I must be wealthy with too much time on my hands. Another worried I might have all this time because I was relying on public assistance. Neither is true. And the beauty of this project is that it isn't about money. It's about time. Granted, because I work at home, I have what many perceive as more time to spend with my girls. And that is absolutely true. I do have more time to offer. But I am only talking about an hour a day. One hour out of twenty-four. A gift from me to my children -- just a sliver of my time. Isn't this something that all parents, rich or poor, at home or at work, should be able to find?
Also, what the article did not mention (because I did not tell the journalist) is that my daughters both excel in academics. The older has tested in the GATE program (the younger will be tested next year). They have both been recognized at their elementary school for leadership and academic excellence. They each have one extracurricular activity they have pursued since they were in pre-school (ballet and gymnastics respectively). We are not "soft" parents...not parents bulldozed by our whimsical children. There are rules in our house which promote respect, honesty, kindness, compassion, and hard work. There are immediate consequences when rules are broken. The girls have both rights and responsibilities in our home. Simply because I decided to interact more with my children, to allow their imaginations and creativity to flourish, does not mean that I stopped disciplining them. (I think these people are imagining some sort of feral kids running wild in our house!) It also doesn't mean we don't care about their academic education. I have two Masters degrees...of course I value education!
From an early entry in the blog:
Every creative impulse I have today I can directly attribute to my parents' encouragement of imaginative play when I was growing up. I remember writing my first "novel" when I was nine years old. My father was the one who dragged the clunky old electric typewriter out of the closet for me, plugged it in, and gave me paper. I wonder if I would have become a writer if he hadn't let me sit there banging out words on that typewriter instead of studying flashcards.
I make my children sit down every day after school and do their homework. I am the overseer of the homework packet, the iron fist of cut-n-paste. But if my husband and I expect to raise children who make and appreciate art, isn't it our responsibility to emphasize the value of their imaginations as well as the value of phonics and multiplication tables?
Lastly, I think the argument played out here is primarily about how we define "success." Here is what I know: Patrick and I are happy people. We have good friends, a close family, and jobs that we are proud of and love to go to every day. This is primarily due to the fact that our own parents supported our passions as kids and taught us the value of following our dreams. As a university instructor, I have taught the proverbial Tiger Moms' kids. They are disciplined, smart, talented, and driven. They will likely find lucrative careers. But they are also the ones whose dreams are not their own.
I am pleased that the article sparked a discussion, and hopefully even those whose gut-response was so negative stopped for a moment to think about the last time they sat down and played with their children.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Baby Big Blue
Part of this project has also been to really limit how many scheduled activities we have for the girls. The exceptions have been for one physical activity each (ballet and gymnastics respectively) and after-school theatre...mostly because they love it, and because I am able to participate with them as a volunteer. Our weekends (other than one hour of ballet) are sacred. And so I was a little torn when we decided to sign Esmee up for an after school chess club on Friday afternoons. Who wants to play chess on a Friday afternoon?? However, her first grade teacher has been extolling the value of chess for young children, and this was the first time that a club like this has been offered. And she really, really wanted to go. So on Friday Esmee had her first meeting, and she loved it. And what I loved was the hour that I got to spend alone with Kicky, brainstorming ideas for the book we've decided to write (more on that soon). I also loved that when Esmee came home, she wanted to teach her sister how to play chess. For nearly an hour, Esmee got to be the expert...not something Kicky usually tolerates. I think it's so important that the girls have separate interests. I'm hoping it will not only free them from painful rivalries but also allow them to share "their" interests with each other.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Beauties and the Beast
We just finished our most recent session of Junior Theatre...ending with a terrific production of "Beauty and the Beast." This time around I painted the sets for the girls, which was really fun. Being a part of this has been such a terrific way for me to both actively participate in this program as well as observe as the kids work as a team to put on a show. I'd forgotten how strong the bonds are that are formed during projects like these. It is so thrilling to see how even first graders rise to the occasion, supporting each other. And unlike team sports, where winning is the ultimate objective, these kids are working together to make something beautiful.
Bravo cast!
Next Stop: Peter Pan!
Bravo cast!
Next Stop: Peter Pan!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Bored Games
How is it that sick days almost always start out as a teensy bit exciting only to wind up being the most boring days ever? Endless hours of TV, naps on the couch, and so much soup. Today Kicky stayed home sick for the first time in ages. I decided to try to make it as special a day as possible, because she'd the kind of kid who NEVER calls in sick. We got an individual microwaveable cup of chicken noodle soup, a whole box of oyster crackers, French toast bread and a bottle of Triaminic. There was napping, there was couch time, there was lunch and then there was Scrabble! I realized that it's been nearly a year since our last failed attempt at playing Scrabble. There have been a whole lot of third grade spelling lists between games. We didn't keep score (because really, when you're sick -- who cares who's winning), but let's just suffice it to say that I had a Z left at the end and Kicky used every single letter.
There's something about board games that forces you to slow down. After the constant motion of Wii , there's something so very peaceful about a game which forces you to think, to ponder, to ruminate. I think getting sick sometimes forces you to do the same thing. Today was the first time in more than a year that Kicky has taken a nap. And I certainly haven't seen her sit still for nearly as long as she has today. Yay for winter colds and Scrabble. And for French toast bread.
There's something about board games that forces you to slow down. After the constant motion of Wii , there's something so very peaceful about a game which forces you to think, to ponder, to ruminate. I think getting sick sometimes forces you to do the same thing. Today was the first time in more than a year that Kicky has taken a nap. And I certainly haven't seen her sit still for nearly as long as she has today. Yay for winter colds and Scrabble. And for French toast bread.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Dog Days
During the middle of another school year, struggling to meet the next novel's deadline, feeling overwhelmed, under-appreciated, and like this whole play project has been a bust, our family made a decision which has reminded me -- on a daily basis for the last five weeks -- that some creatures simply cannot live without play.
Enter Phoebe.
Phoebe is fourteen weeks old now. Her day is still much like a very young child's: She gets up early, pees and poops (sometimes on the floor), puts bad things in her mouth, eats and eats and sleeps and sleeps. She cries sometimes too. But mostly she plays. And I'm not talking about a refined game of chess, here. She runs until she slams into the wall (and then keeps running), she leaps in the rain (eating the raindrops from the eaves), she chases anything that moves (kids and cats are both fair game), and she likes anything that squeaks (again, toys, kids, or cats -- she does not discriminate).
And so, now when I'm feeling buried alive under my own work, the girls' homework, all of our obligations, I've been trying to look at Phoebe and remember that play is not optional. It is necessary to our well-being.
Enter Phoebe.
Phoebe is fourteen weeks old now. Her day is still much like a very young child's: She gets up early, pees and poops (sometimes on the floor), puts bad things in her mouth, eats and eats and sleeps and sleeps. She cries sometimes too. But mostly she plays. And I'm not talking about a refined game of chess, here. She runs until she slams into the wall (and then keeps running), she leaps in the rain (eating the raindrops from the eaves), she chases anything that moves (kids and cats are both fair game), and she likes anything that squeaks (again, toys, kids, or cats -- she does not discriminate).
And so, now when I'm feeling buried alive under my own work, the girls' homework, all of our obligations, I've been trying to look at Phoebe and remember that play is not optional. It is necessary to our well-being.
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